Tuesday, November 29, 2011

stitching john

One of our favorite possessions:

That's right. A framed photo of Clint Eastwood from The Outlaw Josey Wales!

We also have a poster of Sitting Bull that I got at the Little Bighorn battlefield.

So, there is a little theme going on. That's why when I saw this:

I put it away in my file of things I want to track down. This is what I found:

But I don't like it as much. It is too computer generated. Amazing technical skill, yes. Less heart involved in the making, I think.

How about John made of beads? Ok:

Not bad. A decal for my computer perhaps? Hmm.

Eh. I will continue to keep my eyes open for the perfect John stitched but I would totally settle for this:

Really, all this cross stitch searching found this amazingness:

And the best:

Thursday, November 24, 2011

cool hand bottle

It hardly ever happens that I see something and immediately want to share it. But look at this shit:

It's a bottle opener key that you can get cut to be a real fucking key...that works. Like the key that unlocks the door to your home can now open your fucking beer. No brainer. I'm getting one for Ely James. I think this key thing has surpassed what was my ultimate cool in the bottle opening world:

Happy TurKEY Day!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

oh foxy, you're so...

I first saw a train dancer wearing one. He didn't dance with it. He passed it to his friend while he danced and then put it back on when he was done. Then I saw a kid on my block wearing one. Why are these kids wearing these stupid things? It's Kanye's fault. It's always his fault with stupid trends:

What a dope but, his true influence on this story starts here...in 2008:

He looks mid-complaint, right? Like he's bitchin' about something. Really, I'm talking about his tail. Fox tail, that is. Was he such a trend setter that Louis Vuitton followed suit in their SS2010 line?


When did the Japanese figure it out? Before right? Like Kanye has some peeps over in Japan that tell him what's up, I'm sure.

Or was his true influence a movie from the 80s?

I don't think he could be that cool. I bet some Japanese kids were going through their library of ridiculously dressed American classic movies and pulled this one out. Saw this scene and started cutting the tails off of foxes and viola! A trend.

I've read a little about the true history of these things. It is said that in the 14th century (think Medieval fair), women's clothing was so tight that they wore fox tails to hide their ass. Or that they were used to attract fleas. Or that they were tagged on people in the same sense as a "kick me" sign. As one woman writes here:

The French humanist Rabelais, in his work La vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel, writes a character named Panurgi who mocks academics by sneaking upon them and hanging fox tails from their backs.  This insult is effective because the fox tail is clearly associated in the 16th century mind with the fool.

Speaking of fools... here's how some of the kids are wearing these ridiculous ornaments:

But really. What does it say about me, that this trend has been around since the 14th century, and I am just noticing it now. Such a fool! I'm gonna go out and pin a fox tail to my back now. Kisses!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

self inflicted pressure

So, I took a week off. What of it?

I just started coat check and it's taking it's toll. My Saturday is now over 20 hours long. On my feet. Forgive me. Please.

It comes down to having so little time to be inspired. How do bloggers do it? Work full time and write shit. Although, I do get disappointed with bloggers that just post a picture and say tadaa! Like all those many tumblrs out there. I'm not impressed with you trolling someone else's tumblr and them re-posting. Ok?

Wow. Who's got cranky pants?

Well, while at work yesterday, I discovered Bruce Davidson. I can't really recall what I was googling. Oh, something about Brooklyn kids and fashion (stay tuned for next post).

Came across this and thought the dude on the right could totally be Ely James:

Thursday, November 10, 2011

just shut up and play

Late night train rides, or early morning actually, are tough. Last night was no exception.

About once a month, Ely James and I have a ScoutMob date. It's a nice way to save $20 on a restaurant you may or may not have been to before. That $20 is always used, for us anyway, on margaritas. We are constantly on the search for the best. Not only the best drink but also good food to go with it. Last night we rediscovered a place that has both.

The Two Door Tavern in Williamsburg. We don't usually like to hang out in Williamsburg. It is always just a shit show but we had been to this spot before, when it first opened over the summer, and knew the margaritas were made with fresh limes.

You might think that I would have gotten that mac and cheese. But no, I have already had it! It's as good as it looks but I decided to, gasp, try something new. I had the tuscan grilled cheese: fresh mozzarella, prosciutto di Parma, plum tomatoes, sundried tomato aioli & arugula.
Served on sliced Italian bread
. Yum. The prosciutto I got on the side so Ely James could have it with his huge burger. An amazing meal and 4 margaritas for under $60 with tip.

The only weird part was that there was a dude and his guitar. He played all the hits from when he grew up. Too bad he was a product of the 90s. Margaritas and Breakfast at Tiffany's just does not feel right. In Williamsburg. I mean seriously. You couldn't whip out a version of The Funeral? Come on. Know your audience, guitar dude.

We then went to meet some of my co-workers for a gathering. We sat outside at the picnic tables of the Woods. Talked about the girls that weren't there due to sleep and bed bugs. We answered five questions you will be asked to get a job with a new software company. It's all about binary code, aliens, and situational problem solving. You don't know if the aliens are hostile, ok? Programmers are such dorks.

Three beers later and it was after one in the morning! How does that happen?! We walked to the J train, which we just missed. That is the moment you hate NY. It's now 2am and you know that you have 20-30 minutes until the next train comes. Plus there is a transfer at Canal Street ahead of us. I could see Ely James falling asleep on the platform. I knew the minute he sat down I would have a bitch of a time getting him up. I kept myself occupied with his zombie killing cell phone game:


Then, in front of a crowded train of people, when I shook Ely James to tell him that our stop was next, he yelled, "Just shut up and play!" Tough, I tell you.

Monday, November 7, 2011

if only...

...there was an extra $800 laying around. Then it could get this:

Amazing, isnt it? You just stick your iphone in there and it naturally amplifies. No wires. I mean, I don't have an iphone, nor do I want one but, it's cool that this exists. I found this beautiful piece at one of my favorite etsy shops. Indian vs. Indian **UPDATE Etsy shop closed. Now Indian vs. Indian can be found here.

I have been meaning to get these for my sister (my real one, not my evil twin):

But, she has kids. 2 of them. And they're boys. These awesome pillows wouldn't last. Maybe I should just get them for myself and then save them until the boys are less careless with their food and such.

Also, while I am dreaming. If I had a deck, I would get one of these:

I am picturing trees, a lake, coffee, a crinkly newspaper, raspberries, Ely James and the Sweet Baby. It could happen...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

sleepy fuck

Just cause. The Sweet Baby on his new bed that we got at Rural King in Indiana. For $12!! It's huge. Nothing but the best for our baby bear.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

fancy this

I have this little phone that does not do much. I don't hate it but I don't love it. I got rid of my 'fancy phone' a few months ago to save money.  I also got rid of it so that I would stop using it as a crutch-like how I used to use cigarettes back when I smoked. Always at a moment of awkwardness. Always when I was somewhere unfamiliar and alone. I would whip out the phone and pretend to be doing something with it so that I didn't look like the loser that I really was. So having this crap phone has taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin. How to stare at people without looking away first. How to say "What?" with my eyes. It's kinda cool.

Unfortunately, it takes ridiculously awful photos. Really, I had wanted to tell a story about this past weekend. How I got stuck in an old inn with 5 people from high school. Well, 4 people from high school. Including my old sweetheart and his new flame, who last I heard was a lesbian. Just sayin'. There was 14+ inches of snow (the photo above is probably only an hour into it from my crap camera on my crap phone). Oh and no power. Our fairy godfather was with us as well. He made it all happen. The rooms we shared at the inn. The pizza dinner at the one restaurant in town with a generator. And oh the booze. I recall a lot of Jim Beam Black. Ruining my Ferragamos. Learning a lot about the vending machine business. Being reminded of why nothing is ever simple. Not being able to relax because I was without Ely James or Sweet Baby. Missing Ely James' Halloween show:

photo courtesy of Lori (do you want an alias?)

There is a lot more that I could say about the time spent in Kent but, without images to go with it, seems uneventful.