overwhelming enough on land

I remember going to see a Franz Ferdinand show in Williamsburg many many years ago. I stood in line to enter a huge space that was called Volume on North 13th Street. I went with my sister. The minute we walked in she grabbed my arm and told me we were staying right there-by the door. "There are only 2 exits!" she informed me.

I have never been comfortable at a show since. The thoughts of fires, stampedes and such consume me every time. I had never even thought about it until that fateful show with my sister. Funny thing is, that venue closed-for that very reason. Exits. Not enough of them. Damn, my sister's smart.

So this:

...is making my stomach churn. The wonders of Coachella will now be taken to the sea. You and +2500 other music revelers can be stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean together. Well, it's not really the middle of the ocean. It is only going a day or two out from Florida.

I have never, in my entire life, ever wanted to take a cruise. For fun. So dumb. Boats are for transporting. Like trains, plains and automobiles. I would take a boat from here to Spain or something, if it were the cheaper option and I had all the time in the world.

I don't love boats. Or water. Or bridges, for that matter. Boats do this:

And this:

Plus, who could forget this:

Did you know that throwing a whole bunch of dirty people on a boat can spread sickness? No? Well, it can. The most hilarious news article title. "Sickness puts the ooze in cruise." Think about it. A whole boat full of people drinking. A lot. How much shit can a boat contain? Seriously.

Ew.

Let's just break down the potential cost of possible sickness and sinking. Mm'ok?

Total cost for 3 day cruise to Bahamas

• Airfare from NYC to Ft. Lauderdale Jet Blue round trip (as of 7/21/12) $300 
• Room to share with 3 other idiots (bunk beds??) $500
• Service fee (this includes gratuity tips) $200
• Drinks for me (if say, 12 hours a day of drinking, I drink a beer an hour and the beers are $7) $250
• Drinks for Ely James (he says he would drink 3 beers an hour!) $756

$1250 for me. $1756 for Ely James. $3000 for us both to go together and be stuck on a boat. With drum circles and shit. Funding a right wing organization.

Our 2010 trip to Coachella

• Round trip airfare for 2  from NYC to Palm Springs with convertible car included: $800
• Coachella VIP passes (thank you ohmyrockness) FREE!!
• Camping for 2 inside the Coachella campgrounds: $110
• Two nights at the ACE hotel, newly opened: $178
• Drinks (only had about 10 each of their $7 heinekens in the course of 3 days but drank plenty of margaritas at Las Casuelas) ???
• Having the freedom (sort of) to come and go as we pleased: fucking priceless

Maybe $1200 total for the both of us. Plus it looked like this:

Through researching for this post-I found that there are tons of these cruises.

The 2012 Mayhem Cruise

Monster of Rock Cruise

ShipRocked 2012

Rock Legends Cruise

Finally, the only cruise that I actually knew existed before delving into all this.

NKOTB Cruise

Just imagine it. A whole boat full of NKOTB fans. Looks something crazy eyed like this:

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I wonder who will guess the correct numbers, onboard the SS Coachella, for the following events:

• falling off the boat
• getting kicked off the boat (by authorities)
• getting kicked off the boat (by an angry person)
• getting gastronomial whatever
• overdosing
• sneaking in an under aged child
• sneaking in a pet (snakes on a boat?!!)
• bottle cuts (or is it a glass free zone?)
• sexual conquests
• cigarette butts consumed
• etc. etc. etc.

i didn't make a title for this. what?

There have been some changes for me this year. I only work in a retail store about once a week. The rest of the time-I have no idea what it is I do. Technically, I am the boss lady's assistant. Not assistant to design. I don't do that. Assistant to what?

I order supplies. Like ink for our printers. I order other things when we're out. I had to take a deep breath when I put in a reorder for some shoes. It was almost $4000! I wrote up an order for next fall gloves and shit for over $30,000!! Geez. I know that's small potatoes or whatever compared to the big boys out in the retail world. Imagine the order Best Buy makes from Apple. Must be insane.

What else do I do? Deal with vendors for returns. This one lady, Mary, is remotely working down in Florida and has failed to get the order right over three times. Must be a hard life, Mary. Now she is not responding to me at all. Grr. You shall feel the wrath of Adarae, Mary, you shall.

Um, I write checks. It is just all so weird. I'm used to seeing results to my efforts. I'm used to knowing how to keep myself busy. When I'm behind a desk with nothing to do-it's fucking boring.

The one perk so far, getting a style of bag I have wanted for a long time-at cost!

The inspiration of said bag:

That's right. A leather bodega bag. But for over $200? No thank you. I'll just continue to use the plastic ones to pick up my dog's poop.

From the company that makes the most light weight amazing wedge on the planet comes this bag:

The most light weight amazing wedge on the planet is so affordable at $100. This is $500?? I guess it must be real croc.

But the bag I ended up getting at cost:

A leather Baggu bag! Did you know that their headquarters were right in Williamsburg? On Wythe Avenue? Neither did I until I put in this order. Crazy town. No seriously. Williamsburg is full of crazies. That wonder the streets without any awareness of anything around them. But that's a whole other story. Kinda like the Halloween or Williamsburg tumblr. Just crazy.

just shut up and play

Late night train rides, or early morning actually, are tough. Last night was no exception.

About once a month, Ely James and I have a ScoutMob date. It's a nice way to save $20 on a restaurant you may or may not have been to before. That $20 is always used, for us anyway, on margaritas. We are constantly on the search for the best. Not only the best drink but also good food to go with it. Last night we rediscovered a place that has both.

The Two Door Tavern in Williamsburg. We don't usually like to hang out in Williamsburg. It is always just a shit show but we had been to this spot before, when it first opened over the summer, and knew the margaritas were made with fresh limes.

You might think that I would have gotten that mac and cheese. But no, I have already had it! It's as good as it looks but I decided to, gasp, try something new. I had the tuscan grilled cheese: fresh mozzarella, prosciutto di Parma, plum tomatoes, sundried tomato aioli & arugula.
Served on sliced Italian bread. Yum. The prosciutto I got on the side so Ely James could have it with his huge burger. An amazing meal and 4 margaritas for under $60 with tip.

The only weird part was that there was a dude and his guitar. He played all the hits from when he grew up. Too bad he was a product of the 90s. Margaritas and Breakfast at Tiffany's just does not feel right. In Williamsburg. I mean seriously. You couldn't whip out a version of The Funeral? Come on. Know your audience, guitar dude.

We then went to meet some of my co-workers for a gathering. We sat outside at the picnic tables of the Woods. Talked about the girls that weren't there due to sleep and bed bugs. We answered five questions you will be asked to get a job with a new software company. It's all about binary code, aliens, and situational problem solving. You don't know if the aliens are hostile, ok? Programmers are such dorks.

Three beers later and it was after one in the morning! How does that happen?! We walked to the J train, which we just missed. That is the moment you hate NY. It's now 2am and you know that you have 20-30 minutes until the next train comes. Plus there is a transfer at Canal Street ahead of us. I could see Ely James falling asleep on the platform. I knew the minute he sat down I would have a bitch of a time getting him up. I kept myself occupied with his zombie killing cell phone game:

Awesome!!

Then, in front of a crowded train of people, when I shook Ely James to tell him that our stop was next, he yelled, "Just shut up and play!" Tough, I tell you.

winesdays

This is about the wine. Not the whiskey. That's for another day. This day, or every Wednesday, I am back in Williamsburg. At the same store that I worked at for over two years. Now it is a different store. But it is not the store that I wanted it to be. It is not mine. Do not get me wrong. It is an amazing store. I enjoy my job and am tickled pint to have it but I get a little sad. Every Wednesday.

The window washer came in today. An amazing man that brings a smile to my face every time he comes. He was so glad to see me there. Again. In the same space. But different. He asked me if I believed in luck. I told him that it depends. On the situation. He said that he always believed that he made his own luck. Until recently. He was so happy that I recommended him to the new operator of the store. He has a job. I have a job. We are lucky.

I don't feel very lucky. Just on Wednesdays. Or as ely james calls it, Winesdays because every Wednesday I get wine. A whole big box o' wine.

Honestly, I'm just letting the world know that this exists. I know I know. Boxed wine has always been looked down upon. I don't give a shit. This stuff is cheap and pretty decent. $20 for 3L, aka 4 bottles of wine. My favorite is the malbec. Get some.

wait. what?

If this kid wasn't a red head-it could be the spawn of ely james. Crazy! Click on the picture to read about the Williamsburg invasion.

I also found this today. I'm a little torn on the anger of this debate about babies in bars. I feel that as generations are getting older, they seem less willing to alter their lives for a baby-where that used to be the norm.

ely james and I ran into a dude he used to play music with, who now has a one year old. We were at a restaurant/bar. If he had had his baby on him then the tie-in would have been perfect. Alas, not everything works out perfectly in story telling.

He did say he had a hard time realizing 'it' wasn't all about him any more. 'It' being everything...that the baby takes precedence over his diva musician ways.

Now, 'it' is all about his baby. Every picture he takes, is of her. She is an acceptable form of narcissism. Look at the amazing thing that HE created. So really, 'it' is still all about him. That's ok. None of this really matters to me. Until he's at the bar with his baby, that is. Then I might be annoyed. But only if it's after 5pm. Otherwise, I obviously don't give a shit.