overwhelming enough on land

I remember going to see a Franz Ferdinand show in Williamsburg many many years ago. I stood in line to enter a huge space that was called Volume on North 13th Street. I went with my sister. The minute we walked in she grabbed my arm and told me we were staying right there-by the door. "There are only 2 exits!" she informed me.

I have never been comfortable at a show since. The thoughts of fires, stampedes and such consume me every time. I had never even thought about it until that fateful show with my sister. Funny thing is, that venue closed-for that very reason. Exits. Not enough of them. Damn, my sister's smart.

So this:

...is making my stomach churn. The wonders of Coachella will now be taken to the sea. You and +2500 other music revelers can be stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean together. Well, it's not really the middle of the ocean. It is only going a day or two out from Florida.

I have never, in my entire life, ever wanted to take a cruise. For fun. So dumb. Boats are for transporting. Like trains, plains and automobiles. I would take a boat from here to Spain or something, if it were the cheaper option and I had all the time in the world.

I don't love boats. Or water. Or bridges, for that matter. Boats do this:

And this:

Plus, who could forget this:

Did you know that throwing a whole bunch of dirty people on a boat can spread sickness? No? Well, it can. The most hilarious news article title. "Sickness puts the ooze in cruise." Think about it. A whole boat full of people drinking. A lot. How much shit can a boat contain? Seriously.

Ew.

Let's just break down the potential cost of possible sickness and sinking. Mm'ok?

Total cost for 3 day cruise to Bahamas

• Airfare from NYC to Ft. Lauderdale Jet Blue round trip (as of 7/21/12) $300 
• Room to share with 3 other idiots (bunk beds??) $500
• Service fee (this includes gratuity tips) $200
• Drinks for me (if say, 12 hours a day of drinking, I drink a beer an hour and the beers are $7) $250
• Drinks for Ely James (he says he would drink 3 beers an hour!) $756

$1250 for me. $1756 for Ely James. $3000 for us both to go together and be stuck on a boat. With drum circles and shit. Funding a right wing organization.

Our 2010 trip to Coachella

• Round trip airfare for 2  from NYC to Palm Springs with convertible car included: $800
• Coachella VIP passes (thank you ohmyrockness) FREE!!
• Camping for 2 inside the Coachella campgrounds: $110
• Two nights at the ACE hotel, newly opened: $178
• Drinks (only had about 10 each of their $7 heinekens in the course of 3 days but drank plenty of margaritas at Las Casuelas) ???
• Having the freedom (sort of) to come and go as we pleased: fucking priceless

Maybe $1200 total for the both of us. Plus it looked like this:

Through researching for this post-I found that there are tons of these cruises.

The 2012 Mayhem Cruise

Monster of Rock Cruise

ShipRocked 2012

Rock Legends Cruise

Finally, the only cruise that I actually knew existed before delving into all this.

NKOTB Cruise

Just imagine it. A whole boat full of NKOTB fans. Looks something crazy eyed like this:

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I wonder who will guess the correct numbers, onboard the SS Coachella, for the following events:

• falling off the boat
• getting kicked off the boat (by authorities)
• getting kicked off the boat (by an angry person)
• getting gastronomial whatever
• overdosing
• sneaking in an under aged child
• sneaking in a pet (snakes on a boat?!!)
• bottle cuts (or is it a glass free zone?)
• sexual conquests
• cigarette butts consumed
• etc. etc. etc.

i've never lost a tooth opening a beer bottle

We had wine glasses, at some point. We had bought them at a Goodwill in fancy town Connecticut for $2. Real crystal. Those yuppies give away the coolest stuff. Of course, we broke them.

So, today I have been looking for wine glasses. Not that I am going to buy them! I can just go back to fancy town and find some cheapies. I'm just killing time really. Looking for some fun stuff. Like this:

Now we just have a hodge podge of glasses at Chez Adarae. We will drink out of anything. I remember when we broke our french press, we ended up pouring water into a ball jar and filtering out the grinds with panty hose. Worked pretty good, actually. Had to give in a buy a replacement glass for the press because we ran out of panty hose! Speaking of ball jars. Look at these:

I must be some redneck because I think these are amazing!

merry happy and all that

Yeah, that's a weeple on his shoulder. Just chillin'.

My boss lady invited us to a rejects party. We hung out with losers, like us, that stayed in NYC and didn't have any family obligations. We had cinnamon infused whiskey (imagine Big, Red in liquid form-weird), IPA, meatballs and tons of dancing. Wishing the world could all get together and dance to:

Happy Holiday!

cool hand bottle

It hardly ever happens that I see something and immediately want to share it. But look at this shit:

It's a bottle opener key that you can get cut to be a real fucking key...that works. Like the key that unlocks the door to your home can now open your fucking beer. No brainer. I'm getting one for Ely James. I think this key thing has surpassed what was my ultimate cool in the bottle opening world:

Happy TurKEY Day!!!

just shut up and play

Late night train rides, or early morning actually, are tough. Last night was no exception.

About once a month, Ely James and I have a ScoutMob date. It's a nice way to save $20 on a restaurant you may or may not have been to before. That $20 is always used, for us anyway, on margaritas. We are constantly on the search for the best. Not only the best drink but also good food to go with it. Last night we rediscovered a place that has both.

The Two Door Tavern in Williamsburg. We don't usually like to hang out in Williamsburg. It is always just a shit show but we had been to this spot before, when it first opened over the summer, and knew the margaritas were made with fresh limes.

You might think that I would have gotten that mac and cheese. But no, I have already had it! It's as good as it looks but I decided to, gasp, try something new. I had the tuscan grilled cheese: fresh mozzarella, prosciutto di Parma, plum tomatoes, sundried tomato aioli & arugula.
Served on sliced Italian bread. Yum. The prosciutto I got on the side so Ely James could have it with his huge burger. An amazing meal and 4 margaritas for under $60 with tip.

The only weird part was that there was a dude and his guitar. He played all the hits from when he grew up. Too bad he was a product of the 90s. Margaritas and Breakfast at Tiffany's just does not feel right. In Williamsburg. I mean seriously. You couldn't whip out a version of The Funeral? Come on. Know your audience, guitar dude.

We then went to meet some of my co-workers for a gathering. We sat outside at the picnic tables of the Woods. Talked about the girls that weren't there due to sleep and bed bugs. We answered five questions you will be asked to get a job with a new software company. It's all about binary code, aliens, and situational problem solving. You don't know if the aliens are hostile, ok? Programmers are such dorks.

Three beers later and it was after one in the morning! How does that happen?! We walked to the J train, which we just missed. That is the moment you hate NY. It's now 2am and you know that you have 20-30 minutes until the next train comes. Plus there is a transfer at Canal Street ahead of us. I could see Ely James falling asleep on the platform. I knew the minute he sat down I would have a bitch of a time getting him up. I kept myself occupied with his zombie killing cell phone game:

Awesome!!

Then, in front of a crowded train of people, when I shook Ely James to tell him that our stop was next, he yelled, "Just shut up and play!" Tough, I tell you.

ease on down the road

After work last week, I went uptown to pick up the rental car. Something told me to get insurance. I never have before but overnight drives are not a good idea. Seriously. I then drove to Brooklyn and picked up Ely James and Sweet Baby. It's true what they say about NYC. Once you are here, you never want to leave. But really, it's because it's ridiculously hard just to physically get the fuck out of town.

When we were more than half way through that good awful state of PA Ely James said, "They should have split this into more than one state. That way you would feel some progress." I'm surprised we made it. It took 3 tanks of gas and we were only side swiped once (thank goodness I had that premonition to get insurance).

First order of business:

"Local legends aren’t just born, they’re brewed. And no beer in the Midwest has a grander brewing tradition than Grain Belt. For over 100 years, Grain Belt has been the beer that fathers have passed on to sons and friends have passed amongst each other at local bars and watering holes. It is a beer with tradition that spans generations. Which is why it has become legendary–both here and across the country." -grainbelt.com

Ely James' family brings this beer back to Indy from Wisconsin by the multiple case full. Ordering beer online just seems silly but it can be done here.

Second order of business:

Ultimate margaritas. We decided against the 22oz and got the 16. Yum.

Third order of business:

Drunk thrifting! The canisters, in the first photo, I happen to already have in my kitchen. Orange, of course. Ely James really loved that old record player. Alas, $500 we do not have. However, we did walk away with a ceramic spitoon, a floor to ceiling lamp, a sparkling bracelet, and a glass bottle from my hometown. Imagine that. Going all the way to Indiana to find a vintage glass bottle from a small town in Connecticut.