overwhelming enough on land

I remember going to see a Franz Ferdinand show in Williamsburg many many years ago. I stood in line to enter a huge space that was called Volume on North 13th Street. I went with my sister. The minute we walked in she grabbed my arm and told me we were staying right there-by the door. "There are only 2 exits!" she informed me.

I have never been comfortable at a show since. The thoughts of fires, stampedes and such consume me every time. I had never even thought about it until that fateful show with my sister. Funny thing is, that venue closed-for that very reason. Exits. Not enough of them. Damn, my sister's smart.

So this:

...is making my stomach churn. The wonders of Coachella will now be taken to the sea. You and +2500 other music revelers can be stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean together. Well, it's not really the middle of the ocean. It is only going a day or two out from Florida.

I have never, in my entire life, ever wanted to take a cruise. For fun. So dumb. Boats are for transporting. Like trains, plains and automobiles. I would take a boat from here to Spain or something, if it were the cheaper option and I had all the time in the world.

I don't love boats. Or water. Or bridges, for that matter. Boats do this:

And this:

Plus, who could forget this:

Did you know that throwing a whole bunch of dirty people on a boat can spread sickness? No? Well, it can. The most hilarious news article title. "Sickness puts the ooze in cruise." Think about it. A whole boat full of people drinking. A lot. How much shit can a boat contain? Seriously.

Ew.

Let's just break down the potential cost of possible sickness and sinking. Mm'ok?

Total cost for 3 day cruise to Bahamas

• Airfare from NYC to Ft. Lauderdale Jet Blue round trip (as of 7/21/12) $300 
• Room to share with 3 other idiots (bunk beds??) $500
• Service fee (this includes gratuity tips) $200
• Drinks for me (if say, 12 hours a day of drinking, I drink a beer an hour and the beers are $7) $250
• Drinks for Ely James (he says he would drink 3 beers an hour!) $756

$1250 for me. $1756 for Ely James. $3000 for us both to go together and be stuck on a boat. With drum circles and shit. Funding a right wing organization.

Our 2010 trip to Coachella

• Round trip airfare for 2  from NYC to Palm Springs with convertible car included: $800
• Coachella VIP passes (thank you ohmyrockness) FREE!!
• Camping for 2 inside the Coachella campgrounds: $110
• Two nights at the ACE hotel, newly opened: $178
• Drinks (only had about 10 each of their $7 heinekens in the course of 3 days but drank plenty of margaritas at Las Casuelas) ???
• Having the freedom (sort of) to come and go as we pleased: fucking priceless

Maybe $1200 total for the both of us. Plus it looked like this:

Through researching for this post-I found that there are tons of these cruises.

The 2012 Mayhem Cruise

Monster of Rock Cruise

ShipRocked 2012

Rock Legends Cruise

Finally, the only cruise that I actually knew existed before delving into all this.

NKOTB Cruise

Just imagine it. A whole boat full of NKOTB fans. Looks something crazy eyed like this:

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I wonder who will guess the correct numbers, onboard the SS Coachella, for the following events:

• falling off the boat
• getting kicked off the boat (by authorities)
• getting kicked off the boat (by an angry person)
• getting gastronomial whatever
• overdosing
• sneaking in an under aged child
• sneaking in a pet (snakes on a boat?!!)
• bottle cuts (or is it a glass free zone?)
• sexual conquests
• cigarette butts consumed
• etc. etc. etc.

it has happened

She is leaving us.

We have done our job. She has been loved for the past six and a half months.

She is moving to the East Village. Where she better be loved. We are agreeing for this woman to take her into her home with the condition that if anything goes wrong-#2 does a #2 in her favorite shoe or something-she is to come back to us. Not back in the system.

Look at that sleepy fuck. I just took her for our final walk. I cried. A little. I know there were some who said we would end up keeping her. I wish that we could. The point of fostering is to save many. Not just one. We will do this again. Just not for a while.

boo hoo

(this story is not about the van above but it is about a van)

In reading my local neighborhood blog, DitmasParkCorner, I read about this band that got their van stolen with all their gear in it.

Who leaves a van with over $15000 worth of stuff in it on the street? How is that safe even in your driveway in Safetown, USA? This is fucking New York City. My true, honest and first reaction. Idiots.

Being the dork I am, I had to see who this dumb band was. The DPC led me to their website. Which led me to their facebook. Which led me to their twits. Of course, many updates about their sad loss. All of their "friends" telling them how much that sucks. No one called them out on being complete numb nuts.

On their twitter page there was a link for their "video premiere."

Um ok. I like it.

This was a publicity stunt. Just like this Kim and Kanye shit. I'm convinced. I bet the traffic to all their sites have tripled. Now, I have perpetuated the bullshit that it could be. Or not. Maybe their van really was stolen. After all this hoopla they announced that they will be playing the GoogaMooga...you decide.

when sweet baby sees lunch

Look at that fat fuck. Didn't give a shit that there was a 60 pound pit bull staring it down.

happening things

I know it's Wednesday. That is the day that I post here. Now, I am trying to write this while watching "Off Their Rockers." Pretty tough!

I'm writing so late in the day because I've gotten myself a little side gig. One that is sort of what I do here. It's called blogging. I did it today but, somewhere else!

It's for this little company called In God We Trust. I got the job through my sister. Isn't she wonderful? It's an internship of sorts. We'll see. Maybe this will be the only post!

They use ExpressionEngine. Which seems over complicated, if you ask me. Maybe it is just because I am used to this. Nice. Simple.

So, that's all there is. Today. Here and there!

was it slow for you?

Above is the tree I see on my walk home from the G train after dark. Whenever I see it, I cannot stop staring at it. I wish it were outside my window. There is something romantic about certain street lighting. This is the ultimate.

In other news, the facebook told me that this happened 1 year ago today. Then when I got to work, I was told that two of my boss lady's stores opened on this day. Seven and five years ago. Hmmm. Weird.

Not much has happened in that year with the officialness of Adarae. I have to file taxes again. I do hope that in the next year, more will come of it-so I can feel some sense of accomplishment. Of my own. Not of my boss lady.

Should I celebrate tonight? Nah. It will just be Ely James, Sweet Baby, #2 and me on the couch watching Sons of Anarchy. That's all I really need!

The shop was sort of updated a few days ago...

snoozing is for losers

One of my oldest friends, meaning I've known her a long time-she's not old, gave us a sofa. There are several pictures on this blog of this sofa. Well, not of the sofa really. It's always background noise.

It's vinyl. It's turquoise. It's awesome.

There was a lot of drama around the giving of this couch, as there is with anything involving this friend. She offered it to me many years ago when she broke up with her fiance. I never had the time or resources (renting a truck required) to get a damn couch-no matter how cool and free it was.

She then revoked the gift by moving into an apartment with the couch. She needed it. I didn't complain. You snooze, you loose.

After she was evicted from that place, she moved all of her things to her father's garage in Connecticut. The gift was offered again. However, I still lacked the time/resources to now go all the way to Connecticut to pick up a 'free' couch. So, there it stayed. For a couple more years.

When my previous boss lady was closing up shop, she needed to rent a truck and bring the contents of the store to...Connecticut! So, I jumped at the chance to get in on that truck.

My friend had since moved to San Francisco so the arrangements to pick up this gift were all done via text message. She told me her father was in Florida but that would not be a problem because the garage opened by a security code.

What she did not tell me was that her father had changed the code. That they were having an argument. That he didn't want anybody in his house. So, there we were just waiting outside a garage in Connecticut with a rental truck hoping for some resolution other than leaving empty handed. Which is almost what happened if Ely James had not gotten involved. He called my friend and pestered her until she thought of a number her father could have changed the code to and viola! We opened the garage doors to see a vinyl turquoise couch. That was soaking wet. Wah wah.

We brought it home anyway. Aired it out. Left the cushions on the fire escape to bake in the sun. Had a home that smelled of dusty mold for a few weeks. Fun times. Worth it. Totally worth it.

The point of this long story is that #2 came along.

We placed her crate next to the couch. There really is not much room up in this studio. One day while I was at work, Ely James did not latch the bottom of the crate before leaving for a rehearsal. #2 tried real hard to escape that crate but could only get a hold of the couch. Damage was done.

Now what? In our hood there is an upholstery place. We thought about finding out how much it would cost to get it repaired. In the end, we decided we didn't really care. No one comes over. There's no room for company! Then I found out that this exists...

I think it exists mainly so people can make weird things like this:

Also works for this:

Good enough for us! Probably before the life of this couch ends, more of it will be covered in duck tape. Just sayin.'

how things happen

We still have #2.

I think I have mentioned that she does not get along with Sweet Baby. No? Like, for reals. They were fine for a few weeks. They would play fight but they really were trying to find out who the alpha was. Sweet Baby put up with it for awhile but then he said, "f' you, little one."

Blood everywhere. Teeth. Growls. Nightmare in real time. So, we keep them seperate as much as possible. She spends a lot of time in the hallway or in her crate:( I wish it could be another way but never again do I want to witness what we witnessed from these pups.

It was really surprising from Sweet Baby, especially. We have had him for over 3 years and never saw anger at all. I guess we spoiled him though. He was our everything. Our baby. Then this little golden fuzz ball comes along and he has to share the pets? Hell no!

Devil pups. Indeed. It has been over 2 months since the incident. Sweet Baby still looks at us funny when we pay attention to #2 but he just needs to get used to it. Ely James and I have to be super aware when they are in the room together. No big deal.

She is up for adoption, btw. How am I doing at selling her? I don't want her to be perceived as a bad dog. She surely is not. At all. She is just a little pushy and wants to be #1. No one knows what she has been through. She gave birth to puppies and then never saw them again. Can you imagine that? The police found her roaming the streets of NYC and dumped her with the ACC, where she spent a month in the depths of what must be puppy hell.

I would hate to see her go but that's what fostering is all about, right? She needs to find the home where she can shine-on her own. No other furries to contend with. Or kids for that matter.  Why do people with little kids adopt rescue dogs anyway? Regardless of what kind of dog it is, seems risky, if you ask me. Oh, you didn't ask me? You wanna ask how cute she is? Ok.

F' you little one, as Sweet Baby would say, you are too cute.

silent emissions

A post or two back, I promised another story about my crazy mother. I started to write it. I did. It just wasn't very entertaining.

 

 

It went along the lines of this:

Above is my awesome rotary phone from the 70s that my mother gave me. You know, in case I loose power-it will still work. If I had a landline, this would be a great thing to have. This is from the woman who gave me a Y2K survival kit. It had a hand crank radio/flashlight, a camouflage bandanna and a safety orange bandanna. She said, you'll never know if you'll need to blend in and hide or stand out and be found! Amazing.

Her new fear, besides her 4 year old grandson not being able to have children due to unknown emissions to modern technology, is brain cancer. Sort of along the same lines. Cell phones and their silent emissions. My 4 yr old uses a cell phone. Which is actually a little bit her fault. She's the one who doesn't have a computer. So, she can't skype the way my nephew does with everyone else. They talk on the phone. My sister doesn't have a landline either. You betcha she has an old rotary phone and a Y2K survival kit as well.

The next thing I ordered for my mother, to give her grandson, was this:

A pop phone by Native Union. My sister called me once after receiving this gift. She left a message. It was really loud and I actually couldn't understand her at all. Hmm. I was listening from my crappy cell phone though. Maybe if I had one too it would sound better?